Lord give me the strength..

I could finish this with so many different things! I often pray asking God to help me with strength, peace, comfort, wisdom, and guidance. Who in this time and day doesn't need help with these things!?! I really do try hard not to get upset and let things roll off my back, but I am finding it harder and harder. Lord give me the strength and understanding to handle the situation the way you want me to. I know this all seems a little confusing.. so let me get into it.

Many know of my battle about the way my Mother in law treats some of my kids. Let me add that this is also done to my older sister in laws 2 kids also. She seems to have a favorite child from each family, except the youngest sister. She favors the youngest 2 kids above all. I swear I am not making this up and I have been told that this was the way growing up too. Example, Amelia was always having her pacifier taken away and being told she was to old since about a year old. Youngest cousin is 10 months younger than her and when cousin was a little over 18 months she was still on a bottle. Amelia being 2 takes her bottle and takes it to the kitchen. Mother in law than proceeds to get on to her and makes her cry. I was livid!!!!! She doesn't understand why she can't have something in her mouth yet E can!?! There is a long list of stories I can tell you. In fact we had to finally tell them that Olivia was not allowed to stay the night any more unless they also let Amelia. I firmly believe that alot of it has to do with Amelia being special, she can't handle nor does she accept that she is a special needs child.
Now to what started me on this whole thing once again. Out of the blue Saturday night Amelia tells us that grandma spanked her bottom. They had watched the girls for the weekend about 3 weeks ago (see previous post!). Of course, big irritant coming up, they keep the other 2 cousins the whole time also. This is something they always do, despite watching them at least once a week they will not keep our girls without keeping the other 2 also. Any ways, Nate calls and asks about this. Yes she did swat her because she was throwing things at E. Now, I KNOW that my kids can be brats and are NOT perfect in any way. Yet, I also know that Amelia will not just throw things for no reason. She is with my sisters little boy(same age as E) at least 3 times a week. They will hit and throw and yell when one or the other has taken a toy, hit first, or thrown first. She just doesn't do it for no reason! she wont even throw things at Olivia who deserves it 99% of the time. I am so pissed about this. Luckily Nate is mad to. Unfortunately for my kids we wont be going over or letting them stay over unless 1. it is a family gathering or 2. Sister in laws kids wont be there also.
I feel like this is so mean but my kids are treated so differently if the other ones are there. I have to do what is best for my kids. Oh Lord please give me guidance!!

The Dial up Vent

So here I go.. I am going to vent all of my dail up frustrations. I am mourning the loss of DSL and am HATING going back to dial up. You would think that they would have found some way to make it faster.. or a way to get DSl out in the stix. I love being in the country. I love the quite, all the stars at night, the room for the kids and most of all no busy street with idiots flying down it. But I HATE dial up,Oh and the june bugs! It is not entirley true that this is our only option we could get satellite internet.. with only a $300 hook up fee! Are ya kidding me that is a freakin van payment!! So hear I sit griping and wishing I had a money tree in the back yard.

So now you know! I still love and miss every single one of you, I just can't get anything done. Seriously I have like little 30 min breaks to get on here and that's how long it takes to get logged on. Okay mild exageration, but so how it feels. I am NOT mad at anyone I just can't seem to get the time needed to catch up. I do check my blogger friends daily, just can't get the time for P2P. Oh and I wont even get started on trying to upload pics! Jiminy that is a super headache. Good news though, my insomnia is back so I may be able to get a little more done internet wise! LOL!!!

WOOHOOO

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! It feels great to be sitting here and blogging. I should be in the shower since we have to be at a party in 50 minutes. OOPS! So much has been going on I don't know where to start..

We are kid free for the weekend. wink wink!! After spending all the time we wanted together I am now on the comp and he is watching T.V. LOL!!! True married life at it's best. ;) I am however missing my babies, just don't tell Nate.

School is starting on Thursday and I hate to admit it but I am excited. Being able to get the kid number s down during the day is going to be great. No fighting over the remote, the chair next to Amelia, or anything they can find to fight about. I can also get Mia back on her schedule, ehich means Mommy time in the afternoon. (this is also known as computer/phone/soap opera time!)

Now, to all those(Keely,Mel) who have told me I need to add pics and stuff to my blog I am going to work on that this week!! I have some great pics of my man on the horse and the kids also riding. I can't wait to get them downloaded and on here.
Okay enough for now.. I have 45 minutes to get ready!!!!!!